It is the year 2012 now and there’s a major increase in douchebagism. If you don’t believe that douchebagism is a real word and you’re googling it now, it kinda makes you a bit of a douchebag. Sometimes we’re so consumed with ourselves we forget that we are changing… changing into bad people (The type that like their own statuses on Facebook). Anyway, I’ve compiled a list of douchebagisms. If you score more than 3 out of 8, maybe it’s time to make some changes.
You say stupid phrases all the time
If you say things like coolzees, totes, amazeballs and I’m just saying or combine them and say ‘I totes think that the Biebs sings amazeballs now that he’s older, he’s coolzees. I’m just saying’ – then you are spamming people’s ears and you need to stop.
You’re topless in your Facebook picture
You work out, good for you. Now put on some clothes D-bag, this ain’t the beach.
You watch it, you quote it, you live it. You think Mike The Situation is the coolest thing since protein shakes and you quote Jersey Shore in almost all your statuses and tweets. You also find yourself defending Snooki when people trash-talk her. #Meatball problems
You have a lame middle name on Facebook
You know what I’m talking about. If your Facebook name is something like ‘Ryan I am Legend Solomon’ or ‘Sarah Lekabumz Abrahams’ then you make me want to cry.
You named your biceps
This is common – big guns, the boys, Ronnie and Mike. You flex them when people are talking to you and always ask people if your biceps are getting bigger.
You pretend to be artsy and emotional
You Googled the hell out of ‘best phrases and quotes’ and you make statuses about how girls should be treated like fairy queens but you’re actually a cheesy hypocrite who just wants attention and Likes on Facebook.
You have more than 4 ‘besties’
Every week you have a new status about what you got up to with your ‘bestie’ – funny thing is your ‘bestie’ is a different person all the time. No one feels special if you’re calling them the same thing.
You make your private life very public
You just had an argument with your boyfriend/girlfriend and the world has to know about it. Your not-so-cryptic statuses like ‘I can’t believe I trusted him’ or ‘she knows exactly what she did wrong’ is very lame and no one cares.
There we have it folks, I’m sure we’re all guilty of douchebag mannerisms – some more than others, but it’s never too late to change and be less douchy.