Why Lady Gaga Freaks Me Out


Lady Gaga is coming to South Africa at the end of the year and tickets are selling quicker than Kim Kardashian can say, ‘I want a divorce’. I’m not going to the concert, although I don’t deny the fact that she’s an entertaining performer and her songs are catchy, It’s just that she creeps me out too much. This is why:

Arriving to the Grammy’s in an egg

Lady Gaga grammy entrance

I was not born this way

So I’ve seen weird and then I’ve seen WEIRD, this little stunt goes under WEIRD in my books. Lady Gaga arrived at the Grammy’s in the bizarre dinosaur-like egg and stayed inside the egg until it was the right time to “hatch” – just before her performance. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer it when humans don’t hatch out of things.

She wore a meat dress

‘I don’t know what to wear, so I’m just going to put on some meat’ – said no one, ever. Lady Gaga is an exception to the rule because I’m sure you all know she wore a dress made from real meat (hopefully from an animal) to the 2010 MTV Music Video Awards.

Apparently it didn’t smell bad but fellow attendees didn’t look too happy, including Eminem as I remember.

Lady Gaga meat dress

Just in case I get hungry during the show

Even weird as a kid

As a child, she used to shock babysitters by showing up at the door to greet them in nothing but her birthday suit. I can imagine it was not a fun surprise for the babysitters, especially if those hermaphrodite rumours are true.

Doesn’t wear pants

You can’t just not wear pants, pants are pretty important. Besides, It’s only cute when Winnie The Pooh does it, when a grown woman does it it’s a little creepy. Lady Gaga claims she doesn’t wear pants so that when she performs her nearly-blind grandmother can see her better. I guess that’s sweet, but is there a reason for when she doesn’t wear pants at the airport or at restaurants? Lawyered.

black leotard lady gaga

Pants are too mainstream. Everyone’s rockin’ pants

I’m not going to lie, as I’m writing this I have ‘Bad Romance’ playing in my head, damn you Gaga. Nevertheless, she’s still exceptionally weird. I assume the concert will be enjoyable and I’m glad Cape Town Stadium is getting some action.

4 Types Of People To Have in Your Life

It’s important to have a range of interesting characters in your life. Life would be so boring if all of our friends had the same personalities – they wouldn’t be friends, they would be minions. Here’s some types of characters you’d be lucky to have around.

The Yoda

The Yoda

When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good, you will not, hmmm?

You’re very lucky if you have someone like this in your life. I don’t mean someone short, green, backward speaking and highly trained in lightsaber combat (As cool as that would be). I mean someone abundant in wisdom. The type of person that always gives legendary advice and having a chat with them leaves you feeling smarter and more relaxed. Someone to tell you something like: “When you look at the dark side, careful you must be … for the dark side looks back”, and you’re like: “Whoa… I totally get it, man.”

The Barney

Barney Stinson

What up!

Everyone needs a wingman, why not let it be someone so ridiculous and legen…(wait for it)…dary! Legendary! Barney’s always up to mischief and although he makes his friends want to pull their hair out sometimes, he’s the one to call if you want an unforgettable time. I mean, who doesn’t want a friend that can do magic tricks? Yes, maybe you’ll end up in a cell or wake up in the middle of nowhere, but The Barney will be right there with you, looking at the bright side and telling you how awesome it is. 

The Chandler

Chandler Bing being awesome

I wish Chandler was my friend. Could he BE any funnier?

I adore people with a good sense of humour. Chandler Bing is the epitome of hilarity. His sarcastic comments and quick wit has warmed the hearts of all his friends – no matter what they say. The Chandler would probably be the one to laugh at your new haircut or make fun of your leather pants, but sometimes honesty is needed. The Chandler is a good friend – when life gets too serious, make sure you have someone foolish and loving to lighten things up.

The Blair

Queen B

Damn that mother Chucker!

The Blair has high standards, is quite judgemental and a little snobby. Why would anyone want a friend like this? Because sometimes we need someone to judge us, to tell us when we’re doing something dumb and tell us that the guy we’re dating is bad news. The Blair can be seen as arrogant and princessy, but she’ll have your back if you need her. Her friends are very important to her and will wreak havoc on the people who have done them wrong. Off with their head…bands!

Things about me that people find strange

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She knows what I’m talking about

I make circles with my hands and then put them on my eyes like goggles. My hands are always cold so it feels really cool when my eyes are burning. There is method in my madness.

I didn’t finish the Star Wars movies – I will one day, calm down nerds.

I used to pronounce the letter L in the word half up until last year. It sounds ridiculous now. Ha!

I turn everything into a song. I guess it’s weird, but it’s probably your fault for choosing such lyrical words.

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Mila, what do you mean you didn’t like Home Alone? I’ll just pretend to be okay with it and laugh.

My ridiculous knowledge on the entertainment industry. Did you know Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin (Kid from Home Alone) were married? I know a lot of irrelevant things like that, about movies and actors/actresses and I don’t even read Heat Magazine.

Sometimes I count and add things up. I’ll add up the numbers on a keyboard or a number plate at random, I don’t do it all the time so I’m pretty sure it’s not OCD.

I have a sarcastic answer for almost everything but keep half of them to myself because my mother told me that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. Thanks mom!

I don’t really get thirsty. I can eat a whole meal without taking a sip of water and people find that weird and then they make me feel like I’m some sort of human camel.

I correct peoples’ spelling at inappropriate times. If there’s an error and I point it out, don’t be annoyed – I’d appreciate it if you did the same for me. Whether it’s an appropriate or inappropriate time, I’ve done it and will probably continue to annoyingly do so.

Sometimes I have tomboy days and sometimes I have girly days. I love girly songs, I like action movies, I don’t watch sports, I love playing sports, I don’t see why we need to be defined as a specific type of person, so don’t be confused when you see the girl with the flower in her hair killing it at the foosball table. Let her be!

I don’t cry. It’s not that I never cry, I still have working tear ducts but they only work at funerals or if something mega-crappy happens to a family member or friend. I didn’t cry for My Sister’s keeper (Two of my friends literally made a mini tear puddle on the floor and I sat their dry-eyed as ever!) and I didn’t cry for Titanic, as heartbreaking as it was.

My mind drifts away if your story is boring.  If you’re going to be talking about the mating habits of beluga whales or why Fifa 12 is more fulfilling than Call of Duty, I’m probably going to be thinking about that time my neighbour made those awesome cupcakes.

There’s more… but it’s quite embarrassing so I’ll stop while I’m ahead.