Keep Calm And Welcome Ramadan

Ramadan is a time to practice self-restraint; a time to cleanse the body and soul from impurities and refocus on ones faith. I don’t know about you, but I love Ramadan. I know the whole ‘no eating till sunset’ isn’t exactly everyone’s cup of tea (mainly because you can’t have that cup of tea in the daytime), but I’m sure you can agree that the vibe is so refreshing. The act of fasting is not merely physical, it’s committing your body and soul to the essence of the fast. It’s a very spiritual and rewarding month and we should always embrace it. I don’t think it’s a bad thing if your dress code and actions become more ‘Sharia compliant’ during Ramadan – that doesn’t make you a hypocrite; everyone has the right to redeem themselves. It’s the people who choose not to fast and then spam social networks with holy ramadan statuses, those are the ones that grind my gears.

keep calm welcome ramadan
On a lighter note, I wrote a little poem about Ramadan – It’s not at all similar to that John Mayer song.

Waiting for the sun to set

We keep waiting…waiting…waiting for the sun to set
so you better put that samoosa down, it’s not maghrib yet

I know the adhan is now your new favourite sound
And It’s okay if you’re feeling more religious and profound
Ramadan is a time of cleansing, so don’t let people kill your buzz
But when you wake up for suhoor, don’t forget to make namaaz

We keep waiting…waiting…waiting for the sun to set
I see you eyeing those pies boy, but it’s not maghrib yet

I know it’s cold, but don’t be lazy to take wudhu
Solaah isn’t a chore my friend, it actually benefits you
Fast the whole month if you can and celebrate happily on Eid
Take it up as a challenge and Insha Allah you’ll succeed

I know you’re hungry and your breath isn’t very pleasant
But remember, that’s everyday in the life of a peasant
So don’t forget to give to those who are in need
This month is about giving and humbly tests our greed

So we keep waiting…waiting…waiting for the sun to set
I know that soup looks delicious, but it’s not maghrib yet

By Yumna Fakier

ramadan moon

How to avoid small talk with creepy strangers

Don’t you just hate it when you’re minding your own business and some weirdo comes out of the blue and starts talking to you? I don’t mean to sound unfriendly, but there are a lot of creeps in this world and I think it’s best to avoid them. I’ve compiled a quick guide on how to avoid small talk with creepy strangers, just press the right arrow button to preview it. You’re welcome!

Comic Attempt Part One – How To Pick up Chicks

So I’ve decided to do a comic, due to my artistically-challenged drawing skills I thought it could be interesting. There’s good news and there’s bad news. The bad news It’s sort of terrible, the good news is you can stop reading any time you want to.

comic

I’m proud of this. I’m sad that I’m proud.

I swear I had no training before, that’s all me. Now for the exciting part! Want to feature on my blog? If you have a comic (hopefully better than mine but all entries are welcome) then submit it to me at yumna90@gmail.com, I’ll feature the best three. Get cracking folks!

cute kitten

Do it meow!

The Little Rascals – Then and Now

I take it you’ve all seen the movie The Little Rascals. If you haven’t, I suggest you go watch it this instant. Why? Because it’s darn right adorable. I’m sure you’ll agree that Darla, Buckwheat and Porky were the epitome of cuteness. Well, all the rascals were cute (except Waldo, he freaked me out a bit), but those three were the cutest in my opinion. Now, 18 years later, It has one wondering – where are they now? Are they still cute?  Do they still act?

Little rascals Stymie

Stymie

Darla now and then

Darla

Buckwheat

Uh-huh

Froggy

Alfalfa

Spanky

Porky

Waldo

Butch little rascals

Butch

Little Rascals quotes:

Waldo: We just moved into town. My father bought the oil refinery.
Darla: That explains why you’re so refined!
Alfalfa: Yeah, and so oily!

Stymie: Porky, you sure know how to make a sand-wich!
Porky: That wasn’t sand, that was kitty litter.
Buckwheat: Don’t worry, it’s pretty fresh.

Buckwheat: Hey, my mom’s here!
Porky: [sarcastically] Whoopi!

Stymie: You know what they say, Wood doesn’t grow on trees!

Sadly, these childhood wonders don’t act anymore. None of them really did anything extraordinary with their lives. Bug Hall (Alfalfa) is the only one with an acting career and he has some new movies lined up.  I guess they don’t seem very cool now, but they’re still legends in my eyes.

What are your thoughts on the ‘then and now’ pictures? Anyone else thinks Uh-huh looks a bit like a D-bag now?

litte rascals group

Hiya, pal!

My Break Up Letter To Coffee

Dear Coffee,

I’m writing this letter because I’m not really good with goodbyes, I tend to get awkward and I don’t have proper hug etiquette. I never know how long the hug should last and whether I should do the one-arm-pat on the-back or the two-arm-wrap around-hug.

coffee meme

Not a problem for me anymore

Anyway, I recently discovered you and I can no longer be friends. Not out of choice, coffee, you must believe me. If it were up to me, you’d be sitting with me right now. The thing is, I took a trip to the doctor the other day because I felt absolutely terrible. I experienced headaches, drowsiness, shortness of breath and bladder pains. After some analysing, we discovered that I have ‘coffee intolerance’. How is this possible? I’ve been drinking coffee my whole life. I know filter coffee made me feel sick recently, so I avoided it and just drank instant coffee. After happily sipping away, I realised instant coffee made me feel pretty crappy too. So coffee, I can’t have you in any form. This is why we can no longer have get-togethers. You’re bad for me, brew. The once sweet coffee I’ve come to know and love is now poison to me. I will have to get familiar with your cousin, tea – I hope this doesn’t cause any jealousy. But these toxic romances either don’t last, or are very complicated. Look at Chuck and Blair for instance.

So this is goodbye, we’ve had some good times, I’m going to miss you. I’m going to miss the way you kept me up at night, the way you kept me warm, the way you made me feel alive. That’s how I’ll remember you, that’s how you deserve to be remembered.

Love,

Yumna

Image

Sweet temptress

Generation of the hipster

In the good days, hipsters didn’t like to be called hipsters. They resented labels and had the kind of ‘I-don’t-like-things-that-other-people-like’ attitude. Today, it seems some of them sort of enjoy the label. They’re the ‘anti-mainstream’ people who look a bit like vagabonds, I know you’ve seen them roaming the streets of Kloof and Greenmarket Square. Hipsters are in fact, the new hot thing. What do you mean you don’t own a V-neck collar T-shirt? Don’t you know that hipsters are so hot right now? I don’t care how small your face is, get a pair of large-rimmed glasses and rock them everyday!

bearded hipster men

The Front Street Boys (Back Street’s too mainstream)

Three Types Of Hipsters

Fashionable Hipsters

The guys are mainly rocking cotton V-necks, pants rolled showing their ankles, a pair of old looking loafers and have scruffy facial hair that really just works. The girls are usually dressed in vintage clothing, oversized T-shirts, high-waisted denim shorts and tank tops. They claim to be ‘anti-mainstream’ but ironically 85% of them own an iPhone, iPad or at least something from Apple. They listen to music like The Strokes and Arcade Fire and take all their pictures with Instagram.

Wanna- be Hipsters

They go out of their way to look ‘hipster’ and spend a lot of money on clothes that look vintage or cheap. They wear large-framed glasses for cosmetic purposes and definitely own a pair of high-tops and T-shirts with some band’s name printed on, probably a band they don’t even listen to. They still love the mainstream TV shows and music but try to hide it.

Original Hipsters

The original hipster shops at thrift stores, doesn’t like big companies, probably has an old Nokia phone and listens to music you’ve NEVER heard of. They’re usually vegan or vegetarian, love artsy films and can stare at a painting for like 10 minutes straight without getting bored. They really love bicycles, ugly jerseys and old books. The guys have beards and most of them love checkered shirts. The females hardly wear jeans and prefer tights, denim shorts, weird floral dresses and grandma jerseys.

Hipster wearing glasses

This look isn’t at all paedophiley

Hipsters are getting weirder, might be the lack of circulation to the brain because of their ridiculously-skinny-tight-jeans. The other day in Shortmarket Street, I spotted a guy wearing cream stockings with tight denim shorts and boots,  walking hand in hand with a female. He appeared to be straight –  which was the confusing part. Are pants too mainstream for him? Is this what it’s come to?

I listen to The Killers, Lana Del Rey and MGMT and have a secret love for oversized T-shirts. But I don’t think that makes me a hipster. I don’t even own a Strokes printed T-shirt or large-rimmed glasses. I like normal movies and although I do appreciate artsy films, I would have to try very hard not to fall asleep while watching one. I’m sure a lot of us have a little hipster within us, all we need is a thrift store shopping spree and to listen to some unknown music to unleash it.

Beard hipster

Hipster sitting

It’s cool to sit alone. Whatevs

Hipster girl

Doncha wish your girlfriend was effortlessly cool like me?

hipster men apple
Didn’t learn enough? Here’s some more hipster information on 2OceansVibe and find out why dolphins are the hipsters of the sea.