I’m writing this letter because I’m not really good with goodbyes, I tend to get awkward and I don’t have proper hug etiquette. I never know how long the hug should last and whether I should do the one-arm-pat on the-back or the two-arm-wrap around-hug.
Anyway, I recently discovered you and I can no longer be friends. Not out of choice, coffee, you must believe me. If it were up to me, you’d be sitting with me right now. The thing is, I took a trip to the doctor the other day because I felt absolutely terrible. I experienced headaches, drowsiness, shortness of breath and bladder pains. After some analysing, we discovered that I have ‘coffee intolerance’. How is this possible? I’ve been drinking coffee my whole life. I know filter coffee made me feel sick recently, so I avoided it and just drank instant coffee. After happily sipping away, I realised instant coffee made me feel pretty crappy too. So coffee, I can’t have you in any form. This is why we can no longer have get-togethers. You’re bad for me, brew. The once sweet coffee I’ve come to know and love is now poison to me. I will have to get familiar with your cousin, tea – I hope this doesn’t cause any jealousy. But these toxic romances either don’t last, or are very complicated. Look at Chuck and Blair for instance.
So this is goodbye, we’ve had some good times, I’m going to miss you. I’m going to miss the way you kept me up at night, the way you kept me warm, the way you made me feel alive. That’s how I’ll remember you, that’s how you deserve to be remembered.