Signs You’re Getting Old

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Let’s face it, we’re not going to be young forever. Old age is going to creep in and we won’t be as limber as we used to be. I’m not afraid though, I think getting old will be okay… as long as my friends get old with me of course. But no matter how old we get, may we stay forever young at heart. Here are a few signs that you’re getting old: 

 

Music you used to love or tolerate has now become ‘noise’.

 

You walk into a room, forget why you went there, walk out and remember 5 minutes later.

 

You open the fridge and stare into it like it’s the last episode of Vampire Diaries

 

You don’t really know what Vampire Diaries is 

 

People call at 9:30pm and ask ‘Did I wake you?’ 

 

You can’t remember a time when you were watching a movie and didn’t fall asleep.  

 

You get very excited when asked for your I.D or when people mistake you for a younger age. 

 

You say things like ‘when I was your age…’

 

Even the idea of going partying gives you a headache. You’d much rather stay at home and watch Grey’s Anatomy with some tea. 

 

You suddenly know how to bake and have stories that begin with ‘in my day…’

 

The little old gray haired lady you helped across the street is your friend from high school.

 

 

 

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Things That Boggle My Mind

What would Riaan do?

What would Riaan do?

You can't see me

You can’t see me

Riaan Kruywagen

He’s like the South African male Halle Berry – he’s aging so well! He’s been reading the news for as long as I can remember… What’s your secret, Riaan? Now that’s news we’d want to hear?

The hiding of the faces in cartoons

I bet you all wanted to see the faces of cow and chicken’s parents. I know I wanted to… Okay, I still want to. And don’t even get me started on the secretary of the mayor on Powerpuff Girls, all I remember is legs and a red skirt, where’s the face? Where’s the face?!

Mandals with socks

I’m going to say this once, please don’t wear mandals (man sandals) with socks. You are making a fool out of yourself and your feet. The embarrassment is equivalent to wearing Crocs with stockings.

Why celebrities want to look like German soldiers

Lezbehonest Miley, this isn’t a good look for you. Your friends will lie to you and say that it’s ‘cool’ and ‘so retro’ but by cool and retro they actually mean ‘Yugoslavian convict’ and ‘lesbian biker’.

Ive got a matching moonbag

Ive got a matching moonbag

Miley, y u no wear a hat?

Miley, y u no wear a hat?

Some Funny Truths About Men and Women

Men want to be me, I'm okay with that

Men want to be me, I’m okay with that

When guys tell you that they’re going to sleep, there’s a high chance that they’re actually going to watch Suits.

When girls ask guys if they notice anything different, guys go into a mini state of panic. Word of advice, when in doubt – say ‘the hair’… it’s usually the hair.

When girls say they’ll be ready in 5 minutes, it actually means 30 minutes and you should already know that by now, so don’t get mad.

When guys watch their favourite sports on TV, they feel that if they concentrate hard enough, they can actually help the team.

Most guys won’t know what an eyelash curler is. They think we’re carrying around tiny weapons.

When girls ask if they look fat in an outfit and you take long to reply, they’ve already thought of different ways to kill you.

Guys fear the words ‘we need to talk’ – no matter how tough they are.

Girls don’t expect men to read their minds, we’re aware that you’re not Professor Xavier – we just want to know that you’re being attentive.

Men need to allow us to complain more, you will never experience childbirth, period pains and cellulite – life as a woman is tougher than you think.

We are who we are, so it’s ok…

If your best friend is secretly your laptop or kitten

If you’re not where you thought you’d be in your life right now

If you haven’t read 50 shades of grey and don’t really plan on reading it

If you have a gym membership but NEVER go

If you don’t watch/read the news because you find it depressing

If you sing along to a song from the Biebs and you know all the words

If you eat the Milo out of the jar when no one’s looking

If you like looking at pictures of cats but aren’t too fond of them in real life

If you upsize every item on your meal but balance it with a diet Coke

If you don’t really hate Nickelback and don’t get why other people do

You're gonna be okay kid

You’re gonna be okay kid