I know I wrote a similar post on douchebags before but I feel that there are so many douchebagisms (Douchebag Behaviour) out there and I didn’t highlight all the douchebaggery I could have. So I’ve compiled a list of more of them and will probably make another list sometime in the future. (PS. I know I sound like I hate people but I really don’t, I just want the world to be a better place.)
Unless it’s super important, people shouldn’t be doing this. When I get an ‘If you don’t forward this message to 10 people, zombies will eat your parents’ or a ‘ghost of some girl will murder you in your sleep and god won’t save you’ message, I freak out a little and I get upset. Mainly because I never forward it and then I have to live in fear for the rest of my life. Not like I’m some superstitious weirdo or something. *Checks for zombies under bed*
Now I’m not a hater or anything, but it’s shameful if you’re over the age of 14 and saying things like this: “I love my bf so much, he’s the bestest in the whole wide world, like evers. He makes me feel like I have fairy poop and butterfly wings in my tummy”. Double gag. There’s a fine line between cute and cheesy…people need to know where to draw the line so they’ll be hated less. I know I sound mean but you’ll thank me later.
You’re so vain, you probably think this blog post is about you. In the mind of the self-obsessed, the world really does involve around them. They’re generally shallow and never want to be inconvenienced. They love material things and love to speak about themselves. The self-obsessed are usually the ones who break up and get back together with their partners on a monthly basis because they don’t care about other people’s feelings. Shame. On. You.
I see you, people who don’t care about the environment. You leave the TV on even though no one’s watching. You leave all the lights on in the house and never unplug any unused appliances. You litter. You let the tap run while you brush your teeth. Just a friendly reminder… earth is where we live so let’s protect it or we’ll have no trees and everything will be plastic- I watched The Lorax, so I know this is real you guys.
Procrastinate ~ to put off or defer (an action) until a later time.
I know I can firmly relate to this. I’m sure we can all relate to this. This is probably one of those things that everyone in the world can relate to. Except Gwyneth Paltrow, she just seems like she’s got it all figured out, which makes up for the fact that her name is Gwyneth.
Here’s some procrastination beating tips. Don’t wait for tomorrow to read it.
Tell ’em Bart.
Tackle the hardest task first. You’ll feel a wave of relief when you get the elephant off your back. You’ll be more at ease and your mind will be in a better space to perform other tasks.
Have a list of short term goals and stick to it. Note that the emphasis is on short term. People have a habit of turning their short term goals into long term goals. For example, it was my goal to neatly pack my cupboard 2 months ago. The more I procrastinated, the more I told myself ‘Ag I can just do it next week.’ Weeks have passed and my cupboard is still unpacked. So this simple short term goal I had became a long term goal by default.
Get your priorities straight. Do you have a ton of work/studying to do but you have a few episodes of Suits that you’re dying to watch? Harvey can wait. To everyone doing exams, especially matriculants, this is your year and you need to put everything into it. Small sacrifices reap big rewards. Don’t study a night before the exam when you could have studied days before.
Grab an opportunity with both hands. Don’t sit around and dream about your dream. Make it happen. You want to play guitar? Go for lessons. You want to bungee jump? Do it on your next free weekend. You want to lose 10 kilos? Buy running shoes and put the double cheese burger down. If a good opportunity comes up, go for it and go for it good.
Do it. Just do it. Are you in a career/relationship that isn’t making you very happy? Do something about it today. People and situations don’t always change so sometimes we have to be proactive. You want to ask that cute girl out and she’s finally single? Do it. You want to travel? Start saving up. It seems really simple but the procrastinator inside of us is holding us back and trapping us in dream world. It’s not cool being trapped in dream world, I watched Inception.
So I recently signed up at Virgin Active. You know, gym? That place with the heavy stuff and the people in sweaty grey tops? Well, that’s what I think of when I hear the word gym. In the good ol’ days it was that thing most people thought of but didn’t actually do, so I never felt guilty for not going. Until very recently… I was sitting in my room, eating a full slab of chocolate and my fitness-freak brother walked in with his gym gear and gave me the OMG-are-you-eating-a-whole-slab? look. After much debate with myself, I put the slab down, (OK I finished the slab) and then decided to join the gym and not feel guilty when I eat chocolate.
Did someone say chocolate?
Reasons why I joined the gym and the benefits
My skin always looks better when I’m in exercise mode
I get to strengthen my otherwise fragile muscles
Exercising releases endorphins (Happy Hormones)
Immune system is strengthened. No more flu for me fother-muckers.
It’s been scientifically proven that you sleep better after exercise
I’ll be able to climb a full flight of stairs without panting like a thirsty dog
Lowered risk of getting diabetes
Toned arms, shapely legs. Hello, nurse!
I’ll eat how I want and justify it by saying ‘Please, I gym.’
What is she doing here? She won gym already.
My bro doesn’t read my blog so he won’t know about this pic. He’s the one with all those unnecessary leg muscles. Fitness freak.
Spring is nature’s way of saying Let’s Party!
All your favourite TV shows are back
Birds are literally waking you up in the morning
The bugs are back
More people are complaining about hay fever and sinus
You shave more often
You don’t need three blankets anymore
Soup prices have dropped
You suddenly feel the need to workout
There is a reduced chance of your hair ‘mincing’
You’re already thinking of activities to do in summer
Outdoor music festivals are happening like every weekend
The urge for hot coffee/tea has decreased
You know it’s Spring when you see a jumping lamb.