How to be a Romantic Bad Ass Without Spending Money

1. Bake them muffins. ‘Muffins? Who wants muffins?’, is what you’re probably thinking. But I think you should give muffins a chance, they’re a fun breakfast treat and they’re healthier than cupcakes. But don’t give bran muffins a chance, gross. Also, you can put it in a cute box and label it, ‘ You’re my Stud Muffin’. Pretty cute, huh? And they said I couldn’t be romantic.

Hi there, Stud Muffin.

Hi there, Stud Muffin.

2. Write them a Haiku (Really short poem). When they ask you why you wrote such a short poem, confidently respond with ‘It’s a Haiku’.  They’ll immediately think you’re cultured and romantic and won’t question it any further out of fear of them seeming uncultured.

Example of a Haiku  I just wrote: ”There stands the tub of custard, you remind me of  custard, I like custard.” (I’m not very good at haiku’s)

3. Give them personalised and non-cliche coupons. This coupon entitles you to:  ”I won’t get mad when you don’t reply because you’re playing X Box’, ‘I’ll be your emotional punching bag when you’re PMS’ing’ ‘I will watch the movie of your choice’, ‘I will retweet at least 5 of your tweets a week’, ‘I will be nice to your friends, even the one that speaks too loud’, etc.

4. Give them a knee massage. You heard right, head, shoulder and foot massages are SO cliche. 2013 is all about the knees. I know everyone hopes to make someone feel ‘weak in the knees’, but how bad ass would you be if you made someone feel ‘strong in the knees’? Healthy joints are important and also super romantic.

Don't be afraid to go to town on that knee.

Don’t be afraid to go to town on that knee.