Rom-coms that are actually messed up

I’d like to think of myself as a romantic, not only because I use the heart-kiss emoticon on Whatsapp on a daily basis, but also because I’ve probably watched every Meg Ryan, Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts film known to man (What? We didn’t have Twitter back then). But even I know that there’s a fine line between romantic and utterly moronic/creepy behaviour, which I’ll be discussing below:

An engaged woman travels to another city to stalk a depressed, recently- widowed man and his son.

Meg Ryan’s badly dressed character constantly obsesses over and sends love letters to a guy she’s only heard on the radio once, despite being engaged to someone else. As a teenager I loved this movie, but when I watched it again a few months ago all I could think was ‘Tom, you better get a restraining order, this chick ain’t giving up’ and ‘why is Meg Ryan wearing men’s clothing?’, because they dressed really weird in the early 90’s.

Advice to the character: You’re chasing after impossible love by trying to recreate some unrealistic fantasy spawned by seeing far too many movies. Put the remote control down and learn to control your own life.

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A sad, lonely woman deceives relatives of comatose man by lying to them about being engaged to him.

It’s a bit hard to judge this lady when I would probably do the same thing if it was Jensen Ackles or Joseph Gordon Levitt in a coma, know what I’m saying, ladies? But on a serious note, it’s the weirdest thing you could possibly do. What happens when he wakes up? You can’t just moonwalk out of there and pretend nothing happened. People remember people who pretend to be their comatose relative’s fiancé, that’s a universal truth.

Advice to the character: Pull your shit together, woman. There are many more (conscious) fish in the sea.

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A woman meets a guy she really likes but won’t date him unless he finds the second-hand book she wrote her number in.

Movie people are so ridiculous. First up, if you get engaged to someone, it means you have to stop looking around. Stop looking for the person you met in a department store and went ice-skating with a couple of years ago. Stop wondering if the grass is greener on the other side when you have a nice garden in your own back yard that you already made a commitment to. I like John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale, but it was hard to root for their characters because they were such twats.

Advice to characters: Next time you meet someone you like, give them your phone number like a normal human being so you can avoid the whole ‘leaving your fiancé for the person you met that one time in a department store… seven years ago’.

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Disclaimer: In spite of this blog post, a part of me enjoyed all these movies and I love the actors/actresses who played in them.

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