5 Runway trends That Didn’t Quite Make It (Fortunately)

1. The Yeti

Yetis are so hot right now. And humans are so cold right now. But when we combine the two we get this striking little number and kill two birds with one stone. Side note: The model is wearing the cosiest outfit known to man and she’s still looking super fierce. How do you pull off cosy and fierce? Genius. (Please note, no yetis were harmed in the making of this outfit. I think).

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2. The sexy balloon

I totally get it. You watched the movie Bubble Boy and Jake Gyllenhaal effortlessly pulled off the look. If Jake can do it, anyone can do it! Light bulb, why not add some polka dots and a translucent hat and take this baby to the runway? Eat your heart out Versace, we’re making balloons sexy and there’s nothing you can do about it.

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3. The ‘look ma, no arms’

Do you even lift? No, because in this feisty garment you won’t have to lift anything ever again. Need a sip from your soy latte? Get your man friend to help you out. Hug grandma goodbye? Sorry gram-gram, a goodbye nod will have to do. Got a wedgie? Oh please, it’s 2014,  no one wears underwear anymore. You do you, girl. You do you. 

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4. The Ghost of Girlfriend’s past

“The model needs to resemble Leann Rimes and she needs to be wrapped in ectoplasm… but not in a creepy way, in a celestial, dreamlike way. What do you mean we’re out of ectoplasm?! Make it happen, Ricardo! Even if you have to call Karl Lagerfeld again and do that ‘special’ favour for him.” 

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5. The Hannibal

“Hello Clarice… I mean Sharon. I know we promised you the Elie Saab gown, but this look is way more retro. Do you think Miranda Kerr is doing something this hot? Nope. Okay, can you pull your face like you’re trying to calculate 5690 divided by 12… yep that’s it. We’re going to have to do something about your eyebrows though, can we give her Cara Delevingne eyebrows? Or how about the dad from the OC? You’re so hot right now!

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The one where I got married

When I think back, my wedding day was nothing short of wonderful. There were minor obstacles, like when I forgot my bouquet at home and panicked and cried a little at the reception because I didn’t know what I was going to do with my hands when I walked in. And also, the wind blew my veil off 3 times and made my hair a little untidy. I tried to fix it by adding more clips, but I ended up having so many clips in my hair that I started to feel like a Lizzie Mcguire character. But even with those little things, I enjoyed every moment of it.

For those of you who’s read Marriage. Why the rush? (Awkward). I feel like I need to explain how I went from ‘I’m too young and awesome to get married’ to ‘I wonder what colour dresses the bridesmaids should wear!’. I think subconsciously I knew I was going to get married soon, because I was falling more and more in love with the guy I was dating. But just like Gloria Gaynor, at first I was afraid, I was petrified. But something changed along the way… don’t ask me what, don’t ask me how, all I know is one day I woke up and for the first time in my life, I knew exactly what I wanted.

And it was perfect.

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This day was amazing thanks to my parents, entire family, friends and everyone who celebrated the day with us! 

Special thanks to Shakeela Bhyat, who basically acted like my wedding assistant. 

Make up: Yumna Parker

Hair: Raushana Hartley Solomons

Photography: Riyaad Daniels