5 Runway trends That Didn’t Quite Make It (Fortunately)

1. The Yeti

Yetis are so hot right now. And humans are so cold right now. But when we combine the two we get this striking little number and kill two birds with one stone. Side note: The model is wearing the cosiest outfit known to man and she’s still looking super fierce. How do you pull off cosy and fierce? Genius. (Please note, no yetis were harmed in the making of this outfit. I think).

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2. The sexy balloon

I totally get it. You watched the movie Bubble Boy and Jake Gyllenhaal effortlessly pulled off the look. If Jake can do it, anyone can do it! Light bulb, why not add some polka dots and a translucent hat and take this baby to the runway? Eat your heart out Versace, we’re making balloons sexy and there’s nothing you can do about it.

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3. The ‘look ma, no arms’

Do you even lift? No, because in this feisty garment you won’t have to lift anything ever again. Need a sip from your soy latte? Get your man friend to help you out. Hug grandma goodbye? Sorry gram-gram, a goodbye nod will have to do. Got a wedgie? Oh please, it’s 2014,  no one wears underwear anymore. You do you, girl. You do you. 

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4. The Ghost of Girlfriend’s past

“The model needs to resemble Leann Rimes and she needs to be wrapped in ectoplasm… but not in a creepy way, in a celestial, dreamlike way. What do you mean we’re out of ectoplasm?! Make it happen, Ricardo! Even if you have to call Karl Lagerfeld again and do that ‘special’ favour for him.” 

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5. The Hannibal

“Hello Clarice… I mean Sharon. I know we promised you the Elie Saab gown, but this look is way more retro. Do you think Miranda Kerr is doing something this hot? Nope. Okay, can you pull your face like you’re trying to calculate 5690 divided by 12… yep that’s it. We’re going to have to do something about your eyebrows though, can we give her Cara Delevingne eyebrows? Or how about the dad from the OC? You’re so hot right now!

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