How to look like a 21st century runway model

If you want to go from drab to fab without spending a fortune on surgery or a new wardrobe, read my DIY tips on how to look like a runway model… the affordable way.


                Don’t mesh with me

What you need for this look:

– A mesh onion bag from your friendly supermarket (with some blue dye of course, orange is NOT the new black when it comes to this look)

– A look of despair in your eyes (if you need help with this read the comments on any News24 article)

– The will to not brush your hair for 3 years, or as a time-saving alternative, a 19000000 volt Taser gun.


What you need for this look:

– Dirt from your garden (Which you will need to rub on your face in an upward circular motion)

–  Freshly plucked grass/weeds including the roots and sand. (Please make sure you include the roots and sand for your statement headpiece, it’s what pieces the look together and you’ll look really silly without it)

– The ‘someone-just-gave-spoilers-to-my-favourite-show’ look on your face


                                Channel your inner Uncle Fester

What you need for this look:

– No neck

– Ridiculously big shoulders (Pro tip: If you have normal human shoulders, make shoulder pads with old scatter cushions)

– A black swimming cap

– Kohl eyeliner (You may use a black permanent marker if you’re feeling spicy)


What you need for this look:

– X-ray vision

– Pale vampire skin

– An oversized cardigan

– Hay fever medication