Childhood Movies With Really Bad Parenting

The Parent Trap

the-parent-trap-1998-DI-02.jpg

This is actually one of my favourite movies. The soundtrack, the shenanigans, pre-meltdown Lindsay Lohan, the secret handshake – what’s not to love?

Well, there is one thing: the parents.

The parents are the literal worst. They fell in love, got married, broke up, and didn’t try to save their relationship. That happens sometimes, who are we to judge, right? Oh but then they decide to SPLIT their kids up like they’re a buy-one-get-one-free deal at Cotton On and move to separate countries without letting them know they have a twin/other parent. These kids grew up thinking one of their parents abandoned them – which technically, they did. I’m no Dr. Phil or anything, but that’s pretty messed up.

Also, how do you live with your daughter every day of her life since she was a baby and  not notice when someone else takes her place? Sure, they look the same, but even Chessy noticed before the parents did. EVEN THE DOG NOTICED.

 

ezgif-1476454775.gif

Is she Hailey? IS SHE? 

Mrs. Doubtfire

Mrs. Doubtfire was a childhood classic. If Robin Williams starred in something, there was an 85% chance that I was going to love it. But let’s be clear, Robin Williams character wasn’t exactly parent of the year. As a kid, I sided with him immediately and thought Sally Field’s character was the bad one. To be honest, I’m still not a big fan of her character, I think it was a bit harsh that Daniel wasn’t allowed to watch the kids after school. (I mean, he’s no Darth Vader, give the guy a break).

The movie kicks off with Daniel getting fired from his job, and judging by his family’s reaction, this is not the first time he’s been fired. Then he undermines his wife’s parenting – Miranda strictly said their son can’t have a party because of his terrible grades – so what does Daniel do? He throws a wild birthday party with actual farm animals. The police show up, and Miranda has to leave work to sort it out.

When Daniel loses custody of the children, the obvious solution for him was to dress up like an elderly lady and apply for a job as his children’s nanny. Hijinks ensue and everyone loves him. Then the kids find out that their nanny is their father in the most awkward way. They’re left with feelings of betrayal, confusion, and emotional scarring – a recipe for therapy.

mrs-doubtfire.jpg

Home alone

Imagine going overseas and forgetting your youngest child alone at home. Not only were the McCallisters negligent, but they were also quite horrible. Firstly, his whole family is incredibly rude to him, and the parents just allow it. His siblings pick on him, his uncle calls him names seriously, how is it okay for a grown adult to call an 8-year-old boy a ‘little jerk’? Secondly, they let him pack his own suitcase, with no supervision. He’s eight.

And because Kevin spills some soda or milk on the table he’s forced to sleep in the attic with no dinner (the night before a big trip).  At this point I was just like…

When-He-Uses-BB-Gun-Supervision.gif

You want things to be less manic around the house, Kate? Maybe don’t invite your entire family to stay over the night before an overseas holiday. I’m getting angry just thinking about it. To be honest, the way they treated Kevin makes me think they left him at home on purpose. Hmm… conspiracy.  Don’t get me started on Home Alone 2, where they left him AGAIN.

 

 

Advertisements

5 Runway trends That Didn’t Quite Make It (Fortunately)

1. The Yeti

Yetis are so hot right now. And humans are so cold right now. But when we combine the two we get this striking little number and kill two birds with one stone. Side note: The model is wearing the cosiest outfit known to man and she’s still looking super fierce. How do you pull off cosy and fierce? Genius. (Please note, no yetis were harmed in the making of this outfit. I think).

Image

 

2. The sexy balloon

I totally get it. You watched the movie Bubble Boy and Jake Gyllenhaal effortlessly pulled off the look. If Jake can do it, anyone can do it! Light bulb, why not add some polka dots and a translucent hat and take this baby to the runway? Eat your heart out Versace, we’re making balloons sexy and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Image

3. The ‘look ma, no arms’

Do you even lift? No, because in this feisty garment you won’t have to lift anything ever again. Need a sip from your soy latte? Get your man friend to help you out. Hug grandma goodbye? Sorry gram-gram, a goodbye nod will have to do. Got a wedgie? Oh please, it’s 2014,  no one wears underwear anymore. You do you, girl. You do you. 

Image

 

4. The Ghost of Girlfriend’s past

“The model needs to resemble Leann Rimes and she needs to be wrapped in ectoplasm… but not in a creepy way, in a celestial, dreamlike way. What do you mean we’re out of ectoplasm?! Make it happen, Ricardo! Even if you have to call Karl Lagerfeld again and do that ‘special’ favour for him.” 

Image

5. The Hannibal

“Hello Clarice… I mean Sharon. I know we promised you the Elie Saab gown, but this look is way more retro. Do you think Miranda Kerr is doing something this hot? Nope. Okay, can you pull your face like you’re trying to calculate 5690 divided by 12… yep that’s it. We’re going to have to do something about your eyebrows though, can we give her Cara Delevingne eyebrows? Or how about the dad from the OC? You’re so hot right now!

Image